Hostile Situation and Negotiation Training

What people don't tell you is that moms should really take Hostile Situation training or Negotiation training. Being a mom to a three year old, I'm learning the art of negotiating to avoid a hostile situation. At least once a day I have to negotiate my way out of a hostile situation to avoid a massive fight.


I'm currently updating my resume for the paying job and I'm starting to think that I need to have a separate resume for being a mom, especially an epic fail momma. But in that resume, I'd need to have some certifications, which should include Hostile Situation training and Negotiation training, because face it, every parent of a three year old has to do some sweet negotiations to avoid a total meltdown in public (we won't even mention the meltdowns no one sees).


To be an  Epic Fail Momma, some of the job responsibilities include:

• Eating snacks that have been in my purse for god knows how long because you forgot to bring any snacks
• Bringing the wrong toy to entertain your child on the short trip home from daycare
• Letting your kids pee in the lawn
• Allowing your kids to sit naked at the kitchen table while they eat yogurt

There's plenty more but my brain capacity for resumes is maxed out. I think I'll spend the next hour researching training options so I can be certified to help others in negotiation with their three year old.